Toys : Sigmund Freud Action Figure

Rating: - Educational and fun
During the years when my son Horace was growing up, he was as captivated by He-man and Thundercats etc. as the next lad. Although we initially pandered to these typically unoriginal, media-led interests, one evening Doreen read an article about how greatly people are shaped by their play-habits during childhood. It was at this time that we realised that Horace needed more exemplary role-models to play with, so we decided to take a stand against his former heroes and get rid of his old collection!

Anyhow, we soon discovered a unique line of more suitable action figures, crafted after a selection of the most reputed historical luminaries of various fields. Horace grew up playing with figures of (among others) Albert Einstein, Leonardo da Vinci, Ludwig van Beethoven, Oscar Wilde (as donated by Uncle Bruce) and Stephen Hawking. Although other children tended to tease Horace (as did his school teachers), we had high hopes that he would be inspired to follow in the footsteps of these great men, so we stuck assiduously to the programme. His favourite figure was always that of Sigmund Freud and our greatest dream was that he might one day become an esteemed psychologist himself.

However, soon enough our plan was destined to backfire and, although our son didn't go on to fulfill our expectations, the doll proved to be remarkably prophetic. After Horace attempted to murder me and sleep with his mother, he had to be escorted away for sessions with a psychoanalyst. Fortunately, he is back on track these days but, in hindsight, we grew to regret ever having disposed of his collection of mainstream toys. According to Dr. Wenkelstoft, taking Horace into the garden to bid a symbolic farewell to the influence of He-man and friends (as they writhed in the petrol-fuelled inferno that rapidly consumed Castle Grayskull) caused a profound emotional trauma- the psychological scars of which have partially remained present, even to this day!